South Side of Campus is For The Birds

PSU is facing a threat greater than any they have faced before. It is bigger than Michigan, Notre Dame, and Tosu rolled into one! It is 1,000-2,000 crows nesting near the Allen St-College Ave. intersection!
The University, however, will not be deterred. PSU will face this faceless, terrifying menace head on. The Lions will combat the birds with a non-violent approach.

Already, Penn State and its pest-fighting contractor, Terminix, have plans to pump a non-toxic fog into the trees.

Oh yes, non-toxic fog will do the trick. What we really need to do is trap each of these crows and ship them off to pester our rivals. Maybe split the flock up and send 1000 to Tosu and 1000 to Michigan (where they could probably get an A in an independent study).
artist's interpretation only.
EAT THAT CROWS! GO SCHLEP FOR CARRION IN ANN ARBOR OR COLUMBUS!

GO STATE! BEAT THE CROWS!