Friday, April 04, 2008

ESPN's Un-Funny Hackery

Look...ESPN.com sucks. The news is old and the writing is worse than, well, mine, if that is possible. This Page 2 post, however, is the worst fucking thing I have ever seen.

Page 2 has been very "inventive" by capitalizing on the recent news that there will be a class focusing on Joe Paterno offered at PSU this year. They nimbly combined this news with the standard Joe Paterno joke: JOE IS OLD! This Joke repeats itself over and over again. We get it, Joe is 81.

It is as if Page 2 captured Orson, Brian, and Mike; lobotomized the lot of them, threw them into a room, and hurled a pencil and three sheets of paper in after them.

A drunken chimp who had been paying attention to PSU for the last 12 months could have written this fucking drivel! "Look at me! Old people forget things! They call people whippersnappers! They don't like kids on their lawn!! I came up with tired stereotypes all bymyself!!"

These talentless assholes would've been better off just linking to BHGP! FUCK! I mean those guys are really funny, you know why? Because they are original. They actually take the time to think up clever ideas and premises and then run with them. Compare that to the Carlos Mencia style of bloggery over at Page 2 where they simply take overused, obvious and offensive stereotypes and stale, unoriginal "jokes" that other people have done better and try to pass it off as clever or funny. The fact that ESPN employs these untalented cock-wrinkles is an offense to all the talented bloggers who are actually funny!

I took their fucking test! Observe:No...I have more....



GO STATE! FUCK YOU PAGE 2!!!!!!!

7 comments:

Oops Pow Surprise said...

Getting this worked over DJ Gallo can't be good for your blood pressure. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

JB said...

It is one thing to take shots at my school. I can take a GOOD joke as well as the next guy. However, to have my coach and school mocked AND have it be ridiculously un-funny is too much to take!

Oops Pow Surprise said...

If it makes you feel any better, this article is way funnier than ESPN's, even if it's not in the way you intended.

JB said...

I take what I can get.

Hawkeye State said...

You do realize your blog is named "Glory of Old State," right? What better place to have a 473 year-old head coach that Old State?

OK, that's not funny. Damn us BHGP'ers.

drozz said...

you kind of also have to look at the source. dj gallo really tears into everyone. yes, he had a field day with the whole joepa IM debacle, but he spreads the mirth.

for further proof, see this article:

http://www.sportspickle.com/features/volume2/2003-0813-bowden.html

or this:

http://www.sportspickle.com/features/volume4/2005-1102-weis.html

but herein lies the problem: page 2 would never print any of the above articles because disney has taken their balls. look no further than the works of bill simmons-used to be good before he was attached to espn, now just sucks. and gets paid to talk about "the hills" on a sports network.

the point i am horribly trying to make is that gallo does indeed go after other schools, (fsu/miami are thugs, weis is fat, etc.)and usually does so creatively. however, the crap he has to sell(read:$$$) to espn has to be sanitized for easy humor.

anyone else think disney is doing everything they can to ruin sports via espn?

jb-expect to hear from disney lawyers due to this post (i mentioned the corporation twice. alarms will go off). scientology can learn much from them.

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