Turn Your Head And Cough For Dr. Lou

Last year ESPN gave us one of the most ridiculous and memorable segments in the college football world. The segment was "Lou's Pep Talk". Forget the fact that Lou has a speech impediment. Forget the fact that just about every team that Lou "pepped up" lost. Forget that Lou looks like a demented gremlin who has imbibed too much Mt. Dew. The Pep Talks were odd. Very odd.

ESPN has decided to go with a slightly different vehicle to highlight the excellence of their highly versatile in-studio talent. This year, ESPN gives us "Dr. Lou". I, for one, could not be happier.

Dr. Lou took calls from Tim Tebow who, lets be fair, after a summer of circumcising young boys while on a mission, has a greater claim to being a doctor than Dr. Lou. Tim asked about his chances to win another Heisman trophy. Lou babbled for a while and didn't come close to answering the question.

You can watch Dr. Lou in action here:

Dr. Lou also heard from Lloyd Carr who wanted tips on his golf game. What the fuck is that about? First, who the fuck cares about Lloyd Carr? Second, even if you do care about old Lloyd, do you honestly care about the man's short-game? Fuuuuck!

I can only imagine that some horrible fate will befall both Mr. Tebow and Mr. Carr now that they have appeared on Dr. Lou. May God have mercy on your souls.

Also, Lou's final thought may have been true, however, it had absolutely nothing to do with football. Lou has blown my mind.

GO STATE! STAY AWAY FROM DR. LOU!

The Return of the Lou Holtz Pep Talk Curse

Lou finally offers another awesome speech to the masses. This time, Lou chooses Navy as his hapless victim



I really want Navy to beat ND. I mean I REALLY want this to happen. I hope Navy can overcome Lou's terrible curse but only one other team has been able to do it this year!

Damn you Lou Holtz!

Halftime Update: Purdue

Penn State started very shakily giving up a TD on the opening kickoff. Since then, PSU has given up only 3 points on defense credited mainly to a giant Sean Lee forced fumble/fumble recovery. Lets take a look at the game to this point.

Offense:
Morelli is playing decently going 13-25 with a TD and NO TURNOVERS! He has also scrambled a couple of times for 25 yards! More notably these four rushes resulted in 2 personal fould late hits on Purdue adding and extra 30 yards for PSU.
Royster and Kinlaw have combined for 82 yards in the first half.
Williams has looked better than he has in two years!

Defense:
PSU has only given up 5 first downs and 106 total yards in the first half. The Defense is playing very well! The Defensive line really stepped up late putting a ton of pressure on Purdue in the second quarter.

Alright guys! Keep it up for another 30 mins! GLORY! TAKE IT! IT'S YOURS!

GO STATE! BEAT PURDUE!

****UPDATE****
THE HOLTZ PEP TALK CURSE IS BACK!
Lou just fired up the Midshipman before their contest with Notre Dame this afternoon. Lou did so with a story about how he almost let a friend of his drown. Super. Good Luck Navy! I'll be pulling for you!

The Lou Holtz (Temporarily Delayed?) Curse

Lou Holtz was not in studio for this Thursdays game in order to deliver his Pep Talk Kiss of Death. Hopefully, Lou will be back tomorrow in order to hang the best curse on the internet around some poor team's collective neck.

Will Florida get the whammy again? Would he have chosen to fire up USF despite having a lead at the half? Or will Texas Tech feel the cold, wrinkled fingers of Lou's dreaded curse upon their skin?

Only time will tell if Lou still intends on wielding this terrible power or shrinking from his awesome responsibility of crushing the dreams of men.

COME ON LOU! GIVE SOMEBODY THE BUSINESS!

GO STATE! BEAT INDIANA!

The Lou Holtz Pep Talk Curse Lives

Lou Holtz decided to give a (kiss of death) pep talk to LSU on the road in Kentucky this week.

Not surprisingly the Tigers fell to the Wildcats. Just as Lou inspired Florida to allow LSU to convert five fourth down attempts.

I think the only time Lou has actually inspired a team to win was when he fired up USF to beat WVU. Now Lou's fired up teams are 1-5. Just terrible. Long live the Lispy Lou's Pep Talk Curse!

Fortunately, Lou chose to leave PSU alone this weekend allowing the Lions to fucking roll up on Wisconsin like Mangino on delicate wafer.









Mangino not actually pictured.

Lets hope the Lions keep playing this well!


GO STATE! BEAT INDIANA!

Illinois and the Continuance of the Lou Holtz Pep Talk Curse

Penn State gets back on a plane this week to travel to the Land of Lincoln to take on the mighty Illinis! I'm worried about the game. Nine points is not going to be enough against basically every team left on the schedule and the Lions have proven that they can only put up big points against the lowest of the low (ND, Buffalo, FIU).

Juice Williams is a concern. I hope they just lock big DC-40 on Juice as a QB spy all day. Hopefully Dan will turn Juice into something that can be more adequately described as pulp! (ZING!)

On a developing theme here, I would like to congratulate USF football as the most recent recipient of Lou Holtz's lispy-curse. At this point you are basically doomed. As soon as Lou Fired you up your chances were reduced to nil. Vegas noticed. The line on the game is now WVU by one million points.

In a slightly related note, I'll be in Vegas this weekend taking in all the football action I can. Mrs. TINNOMJ and I will be at :

Steiner's
8410 West Cheyenne #107
Las vegas, Nevada 89129
702.395.8777

Mrs. TINNOMJ is actually the president of the Tulane alumni assoc. up there and we will be hunkering down to watch Tulane play LSU as well as PSU take on the Illinis. So come on down and meet your least favorite Penn State Blogger! The games start at 9 am so don't be late!

GO STATE! BEAT THE ILLINIS!

Lou Holtz Pep Talk Curse

Lou Holtz gave PSU a pep talk on Thursday night. That evening I found it hilarious. However, no that the ugly monday light has illuminated PSU's shortcomings I find the talk nothing but enraging! If you haven't seen it, see it here.




Lou hasn't fired up a team to victory yet this year! What the hell! Why fire up a team which is favored!?!?!?? FUCK YOU AND YOUR LISPY CURSE,LOU HOLTZ!