Recruiting: Via Internet Stalkery

We are over a week removed from Penn State's football season but it is never to soon to start thinking about recruiting. Sure, the lager from this year's season isn't warm yet and we are going to talk about recruiting? Absolutely.

Never fear. This recruiting edition is going to be light on the stats and blah, blah, blah; and heavy on awesome videos. The following is just a sample of some key positions that PSU may be looking at in the 2009 class. As I am want to say; BEHOLD THEIR EXCELLENCE!

Jelani Jenkins WLB 5-Star
Olney, MD (what is to say that LJSR can't get this kid out of Maryland and into Larryland?)

The kid is fucking fast and he hits like a sledgehammer. While PSU may seem stocked at LB, this guy seems like a singular talent and a potential All American. Definitely a good fit for LBU!

Kevin Newsome QB 4-Star
Chatham, VA

While he doesn't seem transcendent he has a rocket arm and good wheels. He seems more than capable of running the spread HD. DC-17 has one more year and Devlin has only one more year after that. PSU needs to recruit a QB.

Bryce McNeal WR 4-Star
Minneapolis, MN
AKA "B-Meezy"

The B-Meezy thing seems ridiculous, however, if you look at the tape, the kid possesses great acceleration as well as excellent moves. With three of the best WRs PSU has ever known leaving, it might be a good idea to try to restock the cupboard.

Curtis Dukes RB 4-Star COMMITTED!
Philadelphia, NY

PSU seems to have a solid stable of RBs. Royster, Green, Beachum, each seem like a good talent. However, experience teaches us that a good team is deep at RB, especially, a team that plays in cold weather.

COME TO PSU!!!

GET FIRED UP!

GO STATE! BEAT (insert Pac-10 team here!)

Ohio St. Youtube Fan Attack: The Final Fallout

The criminal punishments have finally sorted themselves out in the Fan attack at Pi Kappa Alpha Fraternity at PSU. You might remember this one. It is where a bunch of feckless douchebags attacked a couple of Ohio St. fans, video taped it, and then posted it on the internet. Well, all the parties involved finally got their comeuppance, The Collegian has the story.

Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity, 417 E. Prospect Ave., paid $327 in fines and various court costs on Monday for the disorderly conduct citation police issued the chapter on Nov. 1.

This seems reasonable to me. It is clear that not only was this attack the acts of only a few douchebags but also one cannot fine a frat thousands of dollars for a fight on their premises. If you did there wouldn't be any more fraternities anywhere.

Richard Eisenberger, 20, of Easton, was the most visible person in the video and could be seen throwing an open beer can at an Ohio State University fan at close range. Eisenberger, a student at the University of Pittsburgh, was charged with disorderly conduct and harassment. His fines for the two citations totaled $537, which he paid on Nov. 15.

This guy is obviously the head turd in charge of general ass-holishness. $537 dollars seems fine. I don't really care. Because for the rest of this guy's life a Google search will turn up hundreds of articles about what a dick (Richard) this guy is. Imagine the interviews:

Boss: Mr. Eisenberger have a seat. Please tell us why you think you are qualified to be a junior analyst here at Merrill Lynch?
Eisenberger: Well, sir, I graduated from Pittsburgh University with a degree in....
Boss: hahahaha...I'm sorry. Go ahead.
Eisenberger: Like I was saying; I graduated from...
Boss: Ok, that's enough. Why did you attack those guys from Ohio State?
Eisenberger: (silence)
Boss: Well. Thanks for your time.
Eisenberger: Did I get the job?
Boss: HAHHAHAHAHAHAH, Lord no.

That's your fallout!

GO STATE! STAY CLASSY! BEAT THE AGGIES!

Charges in Ohio St. Fan Attack

WJACTV is reporting that State College police have IDd the individual throwing the cans of beer and that charges will be filed. Apparently, these charges will be "at least" harassment charges. Clearly, the attack could also warrant much more serious charges of Assault, Assault with a Weapon, Disorderly Conduct, etc.

I hope you all get prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

GO STATE! BEAT PURDUE! (and tailgate with respect!)

Reactions To The Video

By now everyone has seen the video which is racing around the internet which depicts several Penn State fans assaulting some unsuspecting Ohio St. fans at a party. I am not going to repost what I believe is a shameful, despicable, reprehensible video, however, if you really want to see it you can find it here.
Since the video really started to make the rounds there has been only a little done. The Collegian has a good article which basically identifies the people who have brought nothing but shame to the Penn State community. Apparently, the video was posted under the Youtube account belonging to Pi Kappa Alpha Vice President Gaetano Sacco. Not surprisingly, neither he nor the Fraternity President had any comment.
Now that we know some of the names of the people involved lets keep this investigation rolling forward! This sort of behavior will not be tolerated in civilized society let alone at an institution of higher learning! For shame, Pi Kappa Alpha! For Shame, Gaetano Sacco! You ARE NOT Penn State.

GO STATE! STAY CLASSY! BEAT PURDUE!